Honestly...

I feel like my life is so full it's completely empty right now. I can't stand the closest people around me, I just want to cry, give up and crawl away for days. "Going to college" is what everyone is supposed to do, grow up and learn how to live a life with your own spin on it. Nope. There's no 'growing' here, we're all just spiraling downward, out of control. The only thing that keeps me on my feet is my mom and my friends and I just got into an argument with her because she doesn't want me to come home this weekend if my grades are 'slipping' but I can't take it here anymore. I have so much work to do but I'm in a perfect writing mood. Can I write, obviously not because I have too much work to do. I hate everything lately. I wish I could pause this whole college experience. All I've learned is that the people here I thought I could trust I actually can't and they are the most unintelligent, insecure, ignorant, immature, sheltered people I have ever met in my fucking life. I thought Lancaster was 'sheltered' from the rest of the world. Hell fucking no. Lancaster is more of a city than where I live right now in Philly. Maybe we don't have a subway, but we at least have lives. What's worse, my roommate who  knows I like music, tries to be all cool with me by singing Beiber.. What the actual fuck. No. That is not music. Or she'll be in here and start singing "Woah woah, ohh ohh.. I love that 'Love Like Woah song! Like oh my godzz." First of all sweetheart.. it's 'Love Like Woe' as is terrible, saddening, depressing, not happy. Listen to the lyrics for once in your brain dead life. And two it's now "woah woah oh oh." Sing it right please or don't sing it at all. Holy lord. And also, don't make fun of my sayings 'oh my word' or 'holy lord.' I actually try to to swear all the time, that has been failing lately because you're driving me fucking nuts.


I cannot wait until next Friday. I'm going to party so hard at the Glamour Kills tour Friday and Sunday, on Sunday with my boo Amber and lovey Ashley. God I need my friends like an addict needs his fix.