Monday eyes..

Blue shirt is faded, A perfect smile is overrated, Who's got time for dress up anyways?

Monday morning, Sunday night, it's the same time just a different way to think about it. I miss so many things about summer. Getting to see people, staying up all night, staring at the moonlit sky. I'm in a poetic mood so that's why everything is coming out like this. My head hurts but I'm fairly sure it's just helping along my thoughts to form my eloquence. I've become so happy lately, come to terms with reality and what I need to do and not want, and I've removed a part of my life that I can't live with without almost bringing harm to myself. Crying myself to sleep I'd take any day over having a friend make my thoughts come to cutting. I don't hate people that do it, I just never want to have myself do it, it'd break my heart and someone else I care so much about, and breaking his would kill me. I haven't felt the way I do now in the past three years, and I'm so happy about that. I love feeling this way, I'm so insanely, crazy happy that I almost feel bipolar but I'm not. I love being able to write a song in under a week, and have someone that loves it just as much as I do, and know what I'm trying to say with it, without having to explain it is just amazing. I feel like I'm writing a ton of romantic fluff, and maybe it's just the headache, but this is the way I feel today, and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

And now, I'm going to bed with clean wrists and a full heart that beats "inside the cage beneath my chest" and I honestly couldn't be happier.

Goodnight for now

~Ryan