blah.. can't think of a title...

I'm posting daily lately, I've been trying to since it seems easier to talk about everything.

A few weeks ago, I went to my pap's birthday party. My father was there and I had wanted nothing to do with him. He followed me at one point and I ran into the house crying. So then I just sat by myself and waited to get picked up. It wasn't a very fun day, but I got to meet my niece and sister-in-law. And just being at Jim and Pat's house made me want to cry, I was not allowed to talk to them for 10 year because of my father. I look at the things he's done and continues to do, and I never want to be like that.

And when I called him two days ago, he was the same person he has been, just more like Kathy. And I decided that I'm not going to wait around to live my life based on him. I'll go out and do things and if I busy, then I am and I'm not going to cater to him all the time. He told me I'm 17, so I am going to act 17. He doesn't know who I am anymore and that's his lost. Too bad he doesn't stop lying to people about calling me.

~Ryan

I'm trying to write a song, we'll see how it turns out. :]